Self esteem can take a big hit when you are involved in an emotionally abusive relationship. This fact makes sense, as it is the goal of the emotional abuser to keep you under control, and feeling worthless, incompetent, and even crazy so you will be less likely to gain the strength to leave the relationship. If you are being put down, subtly or blatantly, feel restricted about who you spend time with or how you spend your day, or find that sex is either demanded or withheld in a controlling fashion, it is likely you are a victim of emotional abuse. Here are 3 steps to raise your self esteem after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship:

1. Spend time around people who are loving, supportive, and affirm your capability. Being with loved ones who genuinely care and reassure you of your value will help you to reprogram the messages you have been receiving from your abuser. Unfortunately, being saturated with negative feedback has an effect, but listening to repeated positive message can help counteract this esteem-busting effect.

2. Take very good care of yourself. Eat a healthy diet and reduce or eliminate junk foods whenever possible. Take vitamins and supplements if needed – a food based multivitamin and fish oil are good starting points. Begin a doctor approved exercise program, and get in regular exercise, ideally 45 minutes of cardio 5 times a week. This allows for the regular release of endorphins, the feel good compounds that elevate mood. Your body image will also improve, which will raise your self esteem.

3. Avoid contact with your former partner. It is best to have no contact especially while you are still trying to recover. Your ex is likely to continue to try to exert control over you or manipulate you back into the relationship. If you must communicate for some reason, like to discuss issues with children, for example, stick to business and do not engage in personal talk. If your abuser starts trying to take you back into the old patterns and you feel your level of anxiety or discomfort rising, disengage and end the conversation as soon as possible.

By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?

For a free copy of my ebook, “Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse”, click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and “difficult” divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.

Related posts:

  1. How To Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship
  2. Relationship Depression
  3. Being Obsessive In A Relationship
  4. Self Esteem and Your Relationship–Relationship Self Help Tips
  5. How To Tell If A Relationship Is Unhealthy

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