You’ve come to terms with the fact that the man of your dreams doesn’t want you anymore, but then you wake up one day and find yourself admitting, “I’m still in love with my ex-boyfriend; how do I get my ex back?”  Surely, he still cares for you.  He may not even know himself.  It is unlikely that he has no feelings for you whatsoever, as most couples who break up often have deep feelings for each other.  Just because you’ve broken up, doesn’t mean you’ve fallen out of love with each other. 

How To Deal With A Break Up – Work Out Why You Broke Up With Your Ex

In truth, many break ups are done in haste or anger and happen for a wide range of reasons.  Having an argument doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you anymore.  Think hard about what it was that broke you up.  Was there a viable reason?  Was it for the best?  Was it in the heat of a disagreement?  Was everything fine up to that point?  If it was, there’s a good chance that you can sort it out.  However, if the breakup was a long time coming, then perhaps it’s for the best.  In order to deal with a break up, you need to be thoughtful and honest and wait until the emotion subsides.  Then you can be calm and analytical about it and work out why you broke up with your ex.

If you both agreed about the breakup and now you’re regretting it, you have to look at the reason for the separation. Simply admitting, “I’m in love with my ex-boyfriend”, won’t get you back together.  Is the problem still there? Has anything changed?  Have you simply changed your mind because you miss him?  That’s not really a good enough reason for getting back together.  Are you looking at the relationship realistically or are you just recalling the good times?  Will you both really be happy if you get back together or would you be better off calling it a day and getting over it?  If you do get back together, are you doomed to break up again for the same reason?  Can you really stand to go through that pain again or is it time to cherish the memory of the good times and move on? 

By considering these types of questions you are able to analyze your feelings and work out whether you should be together or not.  This is all part of the process of dealing with a break up and understanding what went wrong in the relationship.

How To Work On Getting Him Back

What if you agree that you’re both still in love and your ex even wants to get back together with you?  It’s not going to be easy.  Of course there will be a honeymoon phase when everything is wonderful.  You’re both glad to be together again.  It’s just like old times.  You’ve saved the relationship and agree that breaking up was the wrong thing to do.  However, has anything really changed?  Have you done anything about the reasons why you broke up in the first place? 

The first thing you should be doing is making time to talk things through and really listen to each other.  Having done that, you may need further help to develop a strategy and plan of action.  To help with this, you might want to consider a really good guide, such as “Getting Him Back” or “The Magic of Making Up”These books are designed to help you to get back with your ex and to clarify what you both need and to agree a plan of action to solve the problems that caused the break up. If these problems are not resolved, there is a real risk that they will cause another breakup sometime in the future. 

In short, if you want an answer to the question “How do I get my ex back?” you need to do some serious thinking about how you are going to win him back and why you want to.  Make sure it’s for the right reasons and that you have a solution to the problems that caused the break up in the first place.  Be realistic and open about what you are feeling and what you want.  Get help, if you need it, to plan a strategy for getting your ex boyfriend back into your life.  Our relationship book reviews can help with this. 

How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

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  3. Missing My Ex Boyfriend
  4. Abusive Ex Boyfriend
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