Getting Your Ex Back
Getting over a breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend can be one of the most painful things you will ever have to do. Experience should make things easier for us, but it doesn’t. If your only thought is “getting my ex back, how can I do it?” then there are a few basic steps to getting your ex back that you can follow.
After a breakup, many people want to get back together with their ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Even if it was an unhealthy relationship, some people want to go back to it. This is not always a good idea. If you have been abused physically or emotionally, you should think more than twice about what you are doing. Ask yourself, “Is the reason we broke up, still valid? Am I setting myself up for more of the same?” If the answer is “Yes”, hit the ground running.
Most relationships follow a familiar pattern. At first, everything is intense. Your senses are heightened. Everything is exciting and new. You can’t get enough of each other. After a while, most couples settle down and get used to each other. You can grow to love each other in a different way. Alternately, you can find that the little things that you found so endearing at the start begin to annoy you. Familiarity can breed contempt. It is during this stage that you really need to look at your relationship and decide whether it is a lasting thing or a passing fad. A real relationship will need work, to keep your boyfriend or girlfriend, consideration and support. If you’re willing to work on your relationship, it will work for you. If not, it’s time to move on.
So, what can you do if you do break up and you want to give things another shot? The secret to getting your ex back is to follow a plan, such as The Magic of Making Up. However, you can start the process by using the following tips:-
1) Apologize. Make sure you know what you are apologizing for. Don’t do it just for the sake of it. It won’t do either of you any good. Simply apologizing because you want to be given a second chance is dishonest. Deceit is no basis for a second chance. Make sure it is clear in your mind what it was that you did wrong. Make sure that your ex knows this. Try not to let your apology lead into an argument. Your ex may want to ask you what you did wrong and how you are going to change. Keep calm, listen and choose your words carefully.
2) Talk. Get your ex to agree to a time to sit down with you and really talk about your relationship. Listen carefully to each other. If they are to take you back, you have to show them, that you are listening and agreeing to their conditions. After all, they have the upper hand. You have to show them that you are willing to change, or, at least, to make an effort. Otherwise, what’s in it for them? Keep calm and control your emotions. It’s no time for a disagreement. Attaching blame is a negative activity, but your ex may want to do this. Try not to take it personally. You were both in the relationship. Come together and agree that you are both trying to fix things. A third party may make it easier for you to talk things through.
3) Time and space. After you’ve broken up, your ex may need some time and space to be away from you for a while. Don’t rush things. Have a calming down period so that you both have time to get your emotions under control. Don’t be in too much of a hurry. It’s not a race.
4) Live your life. If you’ve been sitting at home and waiting for his call, you’ll just seem sad and desperate. Get out of the house. Visit your friends. Get on with your life. Show your ex that he isn’t your whole world. Make sure you sit up and walk tall with confidence. You’ll look better and you’ll feel better.
5) Don’t be too available. This requires sensitive judgment on your part. If you don’t get the timing right it may look like you’re not really interested in him. Just don’t be too ready to answer his call immediately. You may not be able to fit in with his first suggestion. You may even be out when he calls. This gives him the impression that you’re getting on with your life; not a bad thing under the circumstances. Give him the opportunity to chase you again, but don’ be too hard to catch up with.
In short, give him space. Be ready to apologize and listen to your ex. Keep your life ticking over and give him the chance to pursue you and romance you all over again and you will be well on your way to getting your ex back.
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