Sometimes when a relationship ends, it’s hard to face up to the grim reality that what you thought would last forever, is over. You wake up thinking it was just a bad dream. You won’t admit that she’s gone and that your world has changed forever. You constantly ask yourself, “How can I get her back?” What’s the answer? Get a plan. Think about what you did, or didn’t do, to drive her away. Ask yourself, “How can I put it right?” Then think about how you are going to put it right.

We all deserve a second chance. But there’s a process to getting your ex back. You must make the most of this opportunity to put it right. There are simple, thoughtful steps you need to follow.

a) Think about it. Do you want her back, or do you just want someone? If it’s really her you want, ask yourself, “Why?” Do you love her or do you just hate being dumped? Do you simply want to be in control again? Do you want her back just so that, this time, you can dump her? Are you lost without her, or just lonely? These questions need to be answered honestly before doing anything.

b) Don’t appear desperate. It’s not attractive, it won’t change her mind and it won’t do your self-esteem any good. If you have to talk about how miserable you are, do it with your mates, but don’t do it forever. Even your most loyal mates will soon have had enough. Keep your emotions in check and maintain your dignity. A strong, determined facade is always more attractive. Don’t stalk her or pester her by texting, ringing, e-mailing or grilling her friends. It all smacks of desperation, which is simply not attractive.

c) Control your emotions. If you can, keep them to yourself. She doesn’t need to know that your whole world has crumbled because of her. Why would she welcome that amount of pressure? If she thinks that you’re needy, she’ll avoid you even more. If you display your utter dependency, you will drive her away.

d) Keep talking. That doesn’t mean ringing her every five minutes, it simply means keeping the lines of communication open. Keep it casual. Don’t let every contact end in acrimony or pleading. Keep in touch and keep it civil. Better still, try to create a positive, upbeat impression. Not only will she see you in a better light, but it will make you feel better about yourself.

e) Think about the relationship you had. What went wrong? Was it something you did or something you didn’t do? Are you willing to put it right to get her back? Should you put it right? How much are you willing to compromise?

The above tips are equally relevant to either sex and if you develop a plan to get your ex back, you increase your chances of success considerably. If you need help creating that plan, then consider using The Magic of Making Up which has helped thousands of people to successfully get back together with their ex. Read our review of “The Magic of Making Up” for more information.

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